So you may or may not know, I eat a ton of fruits and vegges. Lots and lots. Well lately, the spinach salad I have at lunchtime has been really disagreeing with me in a gastro-intestinal way. Today I made the mistake of also having romaine with it and the internal result was VERY unpleasant. Now, I’m equipped with Beano and Gas-X at the office, but you know how painful it is to hold that in sometimes? Well I find that the older I get, the less willing I am to hold those things in. I’ve started just hoping they don’t make any noise.
Lord help me – I’m just not... something enough to be one of those people who just lets it go at random and doesn’t care a fig. Besides, that's what boyfriends are for. Me, I still care. It's just that sometimes I push my butt down into my chair as much as I possibly can and hope nobody walks by.
I shared this with my two dear friends, and here's their most valuable commiseration:
Thing 1: I educated Thing 2 as to the definition of "crop-dusting" - walking through the office, farting away, leaving a trail of despair behind you, which isn't necessarily traceable back to you as long as you walk fast enough. These of course need to be silent otherwise you might as well just sit at your desk at let loose.
Thing 2: I usually walk into attorney offices that are momentarily unoccupied.
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