You've heard my many laments about my bus woes, but the reality is, without TriMet, I wouldn't have near as many good stories to tell you good people. So. Toward the end of this week we had a new rider - a student from all outward appearances of book bag with books with highlighters and notes and headphones and ability to underline passages with one hand while drinking a lid-less mug of coffee with the other. The coffee smelled great, but I was certain I'd end up wearing it. But hey the kid had talent. Apparently he had more talents then it first seemed, because about halfway downtown, he started singing. To himself. All sorts of things - couldn't pick out any of the actual songs, but ... singing. Okay well it was just one day. Day two. American Idol sits down next to me. Flipping through his textbook, which is causing a breeze, which is causing me to blink and blink and blink my bleary-eyed contacted lenses back into place so that I could silently and respectfully read my own book, mind my own business and take up my own space. Like I do. Because I'm a good passenger. Okay, he's singing along and its getting annoying. I sigh. A little dramatically. Nothing. I close my book and lean my head back. Nothing. I close my eyes. Nothing. I look directly AT HIM. He smiles. Keeps singing. And people, honestly, what am going to do. Am I going to tell Howdy Doody to shut up? He's singing. That's like kicking puppies and hating rainbows. I'm going to be the bad guy. I don't LIKE to be the bad guy. WELL that's when things got extra fun. A man who I hadn't even noticed when I got on the bus was sitting in the back corner and noticed Ricky Martin's textbook sitting open on his lap. This man exclaimed, HEY is that MATH? Only this man was a drunk pirate, so it came out EXTRA loud, and sounded like this: "AAAsmath?!" And then my unbeknownst antagonist decides to engage the drunk pirate in a conversation about math and Spanish and languages and where they were from and ... that was the rest of my bus ride. The only the pirate got louder and more animated and made repeated references to his absent parrot and some hidden treasure. Okay maybe I'm making that part up. Good times though, right?